Auditions.

Well it's official. I'm having auditions with the theater department kids a week from today. I got the room booked w/the theater dept. (thanks Lacey!) and official flyers put up. This presents a whole new set of worries that I didn't need but will harbor anyway. First of all.. what if no one shows up?! Then I have to find actors/actresses somewhere else. Which will undoubtably mean that Nathan and I have to act in this video. Which means I'd have to direct from an acting chair and that's hard.. and makes the shoot go alot slower (which isn't at all appealing seeing as how the script is already 30 pages long and the industry gage is one minute of screen time per page of script. Yikes) Two.. what if I find people but they can't do that really crucial scene in the gallery during week seven because the bulk of the theater dept is traveling to california that week? Do I sacrifice my favorite scene for better actors and shoot another time? or do I keep the scene and let some untalented theater kid ruin my perfect vision? I don't know the answer. Or what if I find some kids and they turn out to be unrealiable and ruin this for me. There are so many things that can go wrong.

So apparently tomorrow I have to get up in front of the class and explain why I make art. I think this is .. what's the word .. patronizing? no.. that's not it.. nevermind. I think it sucks. Is there really such a thing as a bad piece of art? Sure but all of them result from laziness or lack of creative intuition. But is there such a thing as a bad reason to make art? Why do our professors feel the need to judge me in this way? Or us, I should say. Are they going to tell me my reasons aren't good enough? Or do they just want to see if I can articulate the way I feel? Because most artists can't do that! That's why they make art. They explain themselves through their art. And if you can't understand a person, or at least try, from looking at a piece of their art, then you aren't a very good judge of character. I do not want to explain myself for the simple reason that I feel like no answer will be good enough for them. No matter what we say during these little speeches, the only feedback we get is negative. Unless you are one of the class favorites. Which I'm not. You hardly ever hear what was good .. only what you need to change and I for one don't need anymore critisism right now. I suppose that knowing how to articulate how you feel is good but isn't being passionate about your work enough? From what I heard about last week's interrogation.. it isn't. Lame.

And now.. an inspiring quote.

"It's not the critic that counts. Not the man or woman who points out how the strong man or woman stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better, the credit belongs to the man or woman in the arena who's face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends him/herself in a worthy cause, who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worse if he/she fails at least fails while daring greatly. So that his/her place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who never have known neither victory or defeat."